Betrayal

The worse thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.

It comes from people that are deeply rooted in your belief system, people that you have exposed your soul to and saw a reflection of yourself in.

It comes from those that you trust, the ones that you swear would never harm you on purpose or play with your dreams.

It comes from the people who you never expect it from.

It comes from those people that you love and who claim to love you back. It doesn’t necessarily have to come from a romantic relationship either. It could be betrayal from a family member or perhaps a close friend.

This betrayal hurts so much because at the end of the day, who knows you better than those who you have bared your very being to?

It is a bitter pill to swallow because it comes so unexpectedly that you find yourself wondering where you read the signs wrong.

Was it possible that you placed more value on them and their relationship with you than they ever placed on you?

Does this violation of your trust mean that they never truly cared about you? Because if they did, then why would they use your vulnerabilities against you?

Was it selfishness? A series of events that they allowed to happen so that they could get what they wanted, what made them happy, regardless of how you would be affected?

Do you even know how to love at all, if they betrayed what you had thought was love so easily?

Was it something that you had done? Did you deserve this somehow?

And then you try to reason with yourself. All is well. They betrayed you. Your mother had always told you that people would always let you down anyway. You had told yourself plenty of time to expect nothing from no one because expectations only lead to disappointments. You thought that you had that philosophy mastered. But they showed you.

The most painful part of the whole experience came from the fact that you knew that if the roles were reversed, you would never treat someone that you claimed to love as such.

What you have to realise is that it really isn’t about you. It’s nothing about what you said or did. Nothing about what you could have done or not done. Nor is it about what you would have done in their place. That responsibility to wonder does not lie with you.

Betrayal always tells. It tells both parties’ true colours. It tells you what the other person is capable of doing and it tells you just how strong you are.

This betrayal will be something that you will come to appreciate, maybe not today, not tomorrow but certainly sometime in the future, when you look back and see that yes, your life was indeed made better by that betrayal.

Because you were allowed the opportunity to purge the parasites that did nothing but feed on your life-force before they could take root.

You were afforded the opportunity to shed them, like a snake sheds its old skin and you will come out stronger on the other side.

Someone that has dealt with the betrayal of a loved one and comes out on the other side is someone to whom commendation is due because that kind of betrayal breaks you down, disillusions you but once you make it out, you are better off for it.

And if you are going through that feeling of betrayal right now, then don’t worry.

It is all a part of this existence we call life and if you are still breathing, then you can move on. If you can move on, remember that you can heal.

And if you can heal, you can certainly get better.

And getting better means learning to trust again. But this time, make sure to put your trust in the right kind of people. Keep that sweet heart of yours open. Choose forgiveness over protection. Do not form  a limiting belief that you cannot trust people. Use your experience of betrayal as a reminder to come back to the ultimate source of trust: Yourself.

Khalil Gibran said, “Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.”

In the same way, the pain of betrayal is a pain that can blind you to the realisation that you will be okay.

In that moment, it will be difficult to see past your pain. But if you believe and have faith, there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel.

You just have to keep walking.

Yours sincerely,

AnonymouslyAfroIrish

#AspiringDreamCatcher